It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize