do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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