That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's never too late to be topless.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize