If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
