you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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