worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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