you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Randomize
