I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
