So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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