I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
