He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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