bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
