Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
