Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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