'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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