1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
