Need sex. Gaining weight.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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