Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
This toilet bowl is my home.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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