why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
