Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
