Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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