There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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