Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
