i think my tv is drunk
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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