The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
