no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize
