i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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