Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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