I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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