He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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