You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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