I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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