Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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