12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
