so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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