I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When are your genitals available?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
you never un-have a 4some
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
