So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
