Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
