i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
