If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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