I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
