I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
