all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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