But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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