"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
