You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
