Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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