The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
