so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
