I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
