Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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