Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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