She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
