I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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