The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
