week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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