Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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