Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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