Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
