whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
