normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
