just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
