you have to choose: penises or morals?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
