Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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