can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
