So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
