let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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