got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize