im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
