her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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