I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
