She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
