idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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